he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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