You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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