the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i don't like sucking hair
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
