oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i need some magic done to my vagina
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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