have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
