Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
