She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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