I am puke
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I love having hate sex.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
