ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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