Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
