What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
