Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i've created a new STD.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
