how can u be prego again
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
