ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
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i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
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And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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