yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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