i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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