Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize