Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
