some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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