idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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