Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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