Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She even gives head with a lisp.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
