it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I came so hard my ears popped.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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