Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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