I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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