i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it's like heaven, but drunker
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
