We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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