I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
