I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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