You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
