we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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