Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
