Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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