It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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