I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dick very happy bro
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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