Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
