She is in my trunk
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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