i would punch a child for taco bell
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
