Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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