My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We have so much sex to catch up on
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize