I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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