just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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