I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
