That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
