she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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