He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
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