I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
