Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
we should paint friendship bongs
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
