Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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