But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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