I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
