Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize