I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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