can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Couch. On fire.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize