So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
