GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
