If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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