this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
