Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize