Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
