I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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