I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
